Personal Lifestyle

Living with an introvert

It wasn’t until a Myers Briggs personality assessment at work defined me as an INFJ – the rarest personality type – that I realised why I am like I am!

In a nutshell, the INFJ:

Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging… is a complex character. We are generalised as ‘doers’ and ‘dreamers’ that are deeply concerned with relationships and humanity.

Taken from Wikipedia: 

INFJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations.

INFJs are more abstract than concrete. They focus on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.

INFJs tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic.

INFJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability.

I could go into it so much more, but if you are interested in finding out your personality type and learning more, I would definitely recommend it!

Ok, to give an insight into the introvert that’s me…

Things I hate:

  • Answering the phone
  • Making a phone call
  • Unexpected visitors
  • Booking appointments
  • Walking into any room full of people
  • Complaining when something is wrong
  • Feeling like an inconvenience
  • Feeling judged
  • Presentations or speaking in front of a group
  • Confrontation

Things I love:

  • Cancelled plans
  • The internet
  • Texting (although I can be rubbish at replying)
  • Online booking facilities
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Time alone to recharge
  • Close bonds
  • Quiet nights in with my husband

Things I can’t help:

  • Overthinking EVERYTHING
  • Worrying about what others think
  • Making a huge effort
  • Being afraid of everything
  • Feeling paranoid
  • Criticising myself
  • Being quiet
  • Being emotional
  • Being highly sensitive
  • Trying to work out the how, why and what of everything!

All of the things listed above send me into a frenzy and my anxiety spirals! My husband is an extrovert and can’t always understand why I like to hide away or why I worry so much, but he knows my quirks and wouldn’t have me any other way.

Being quiet and reflective has often had me mistaken as grumpy or snooty. I have been rejected or judged before the real me is understood. I love to listen and will of course speak non stop when I feel connected and comfortable with someone.

I hope my children have a little of the extrovert that is my husband in them. I want them to have the confidence I’ve never had. I think they are doing well, they are all confident when they have important speaking roles in school assemblies and plays. Something that always terrified me.

Since understanding I’m an introvert and what that means, I’m happier in my own skin. It’s ok to be me!


22 thoughts on “Living with an introvert

  1. I resonated with a lot of these-putting most of mine down to my social anxiety-because to tell people I’m also an introvert would make people think I was lying. I’m quite a chatty loud person so no one would believe I was an introvert.


    1. I do find anxiety plays it’s part too but when I looked more into being an introvert it made so much sense x

  2. A very interesting read I believe I’m a introvert so I tend to hide Behind My blog great read Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  3. My wife and step daughter are both very much introverts. They would both prefer to just have one or two friends that come visit them here and never have to leave the house. I’m not sure that they would even call for pizza delivery on a day that I wasn’t here to do it #thatfridaylinky

  4. Your lists could have been written for me! I’m an introvert too, but I’ve known it for a good while now. Have you heard of Erica Layne’s blog The Life On Purpose Movement? She often talks about life as an outgoing introvert, and why it is perfectly fine to be an introvert in such a loud world.
    I’m going to do this test now, to find out the other letters in my character type!

    1. I’m glad you can relate! I haven’t heard of Erica Layne but I’ll be sure to check out her blog! Let me know your test outcome, I’m fascinated by it all!

  5. This description sounds very much like me. Although I always struggle to fit neatly into a category because, despite being quiet & preferring smaller groups, I am also very happy speaking at the front. I don;t like socialising with a big group of people, but performing or presenting to a big group doesn’t faze me because I am in control and I don’t have to make unplanned small talk with people. I think it’s great when you can start to accept yourself as you are, though, and stop worrying that you should be different somehow #triumphanttales

    1. Thank you Lucy. It’s fantastic that you can be happy and confident performing or presenting! I’ve had to do it lots over the years and I hate it every time.

  6. I was always very much an introvert growing up, and yet as I have got older I have finally started to come out of my shell a little, but it doesn’t take much to make me go back in there!! #dreamteam

    1. I’m so pleased you have managed to overcome some of your introvert ways as you’ve got older. I fear I’m getting worse… I now understand why I’m like it so I can justify it to myself

  7. I think that there is a lot to be said for understanding your own personality traits. I could relate to a lot of these characteristics too so I definitely think that I’m more of an introvert, with a hidden extrovert that just comes out via my laptop as I blog haha. I found this really interesting to read. Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam lovely x

  8. It literally feels like I’m reading about myself! I went to a blogging event last week and I give it all the chat online but I was so silent in real life. oh and I also love people cancelling! nothing better than staying in!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow.

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