2017… the highs and mostly shitty lows… Part 1

2017 you sucked!

I haven’t written a blog post in 6 months. I can’t believe it’s been so long. That’s how bad 2017 got for me. Off social media, off blogging, off life quite honestly.

It all started with a miscarriage and spiralled from there to the worst year I’ve ever had.

The miscarriage. An unplanned pregnancy, but hey they always are with me! Once we got our heads around Baby number 5 we were excited and talking about it non stop. But it was not meant to be.

The 999 call. Our precious youngest daughter stopped breathing. What we know know to have been a febrile convulsion, was our world crashing uncontrollably. Seeing her blue and lifeless and being unable to help her, was the single most scariest thing that has ever happened to me.

Bereavement. Next came the sad sad passing of my husbands beloved Grandad. From poorly to gone in such a short time. The man we loved and loved us and our children so much. The incredibly quiet but incredibly generous, loving, proud man we called Grandad John. We wouldn’t have got married without his selfless generosity. He thought the world of my husband and our children. His loss has left a huge hole in our lives.

Cancer. There, I said it. My amazing, beautiful, brave mum was diagnosed with cancer. My world crashed around me. Again. My dads world crashed around him. My brothers worlds crashed around them. My mum is the centre of our family, the one we always go to first.

I wrote blog posts about it the whole time it was happening but left them unpublished. A combination of too painful to post, respecting mums privacy and the complete unknown.

Mum had an operation and finished her last round of 6 months of chemo before Christmas. She was so strong through it all, most of the time you would never have known how poorly she was. My mum is a fighter and she is determined to kick cancer’s butt. I love you mum and I am so proud of you.

With Mum

Unfortunately our tortuous year didn’t end there, but I’ll save the next instalment for another day.

I’m back to blogging, back to normality (I hope), back to happiness.

Part 2 coming soon.

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